To the Doggie Roommate:

Some people make the blog because they are assholes. Some have genuine honest intentions, but I just turn into a mean person and laugh at them. This is one of those times that I'm the asshole. I got this message, and it started my Sunday off with a nice laugh.

The message started off normal, but when I got to the dog part I just started giggling. I mean really, this is part of your first impression, and if this is the level of conversation you start out with? I don't even want to think about the pain I'd be in on that first date! I actually had a really bad first date the other night. It was one of those where 5 minutes in you know you want to vault over the patio railing and run to your car as fast as you can. From the second I saw his body language and heard his tonal inflection it got my hackles up. First topic turned into the "Amazon Scandal." Which I thought was referring to the email I got telling me I'd get a credit on my account because people got overcharged, but he was referring to them editing the word Nigger out of Huckleberry Finn. And how he could never own an eReader because they could do that and he'd want to print out everything just to know that nobody had tampered with it.... That just really doesn't bother me that much as long as they mark it as edited or unedited versions. Topic 2, we disagreed on as well. You know it's a bad sign when I only drink one glass of wine at happy hour, and that's exactly what happened cause I wanted an empty glass so I could make a getaway at the first opportunity. After a 30 minute lecture on making wine, where he assumed I had no knowledge of anything and was incredibly arrogant, did he finally ask me a question about myself....45-60 minutes in. I ran away as soon as it wasn't entirely rude of me! But I digress... back to The Doggie Roommate who was giving me visions of a similar painful date.

I still went to his profile out of curiosity. Yes, sometimes I look at car crashes, and this felt no different. I bet this guy has a little dog that he dresses in sweaters. He put the dog first in his self summary even before being a teacher, which by the way - can you imagine being in his class after reading his message and profile??? These are the things that define him and he wants to highlight to his world of potential love interests?

This wild man goes to Target almost once a week. Oh hunny, no wonder I seem incredibly fun! He just would go on overload if he had gone to the Murder Mystery Dinner Theater with me Friday, out with friends Sat night, and to brunch at O.H.S.O. Sunday. In his book, I must be such a wild child because I like to incorporate new experiences a few times a month. So I'm sorry Richie, but even though we match in beliefs and had high percentages, I think you might just be a bit dull for my tastes. I want more out of life than weekly trips to Target... and you'd always love your dog more!