Our evening was scheduled for a Friday, and by Friday morning I think I'd already hit 40 hours in the store not counting my shift that day or saturday, and with my second job of responding to emails from match.comers (there are 16 different gentlemen in my inbox who have unknowingly passed several of the initial hoops, jumps and twirls and I'm emailing with, along with another who my friend Karen introduced me to through Facebook, Dave I hope you're not reading this!) I've been getting an average of about 5 hours of sleep. The previous night I'd gone out with some girlfriends and after about 3 drinks, this was me on the car ride home at midnight. Klassy with a K right? But this narcoleptic moment is pertinent to our story for my date the next night. So Friday rolls around, and I'm a bit tired, but I'm not going to cancel because that's rude, right?We met for dinner, and as I recognize him and walk over I realized he's in the "shorter than thou" category by at least six inches in the shoes I was wearing. As you know from an earlier blog, I have a height complex. But I decided that I was going to throw it out the door, and get to know someone for who they are and see if I could date a shorter man. I'm not going to go into too many details, but conversation was decent, he was very sweet and genuine, has passions that he's pursuing in life, and overall will be a great catch for someone. After dinner we had planned to see Friends With Benefits, but the only options that would work with dinner was a 10:30 showing....I think you all can see where this is going.
I made it through the previews, but right about when the movie started my tummy was full, the theater was dark, and I had one of those long blinks. You know, where your eyes close, and it doesn't feel like you fell asleep until you realize you have no idea how Justin Timberlake wound up in New York City? Yeah, one of those. And out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw his head turning away from me...I'd been caught! I was mortified, no wonder I'm single, I behave badly during first dates and fall asleep - who does that?
I guess it could have been worse, I could have drifted off in the middle of conversation before the previews started. My mother will testify that I've fallen asleep sitting up for ten minute power naps my entire life, which is great in a plane but not on a date! From here on out, I'm drinking like two red bulls AND a venti coffee first - at least then I won't get a second date because he thinks I'm a junkie when I'm really just shaking from all the caffeine cause I don't want to have a narcoleptic moment! After my ten minutes in dreamland, I was so embarrassed I stayed awake the rest of the movie (it helped that the movie was hilarious).
When we were walking to our cars, I started to get nervous about the whole ending the date moments. It was enjoyable, but I didn't have much of an inclination to kiss him, crap he's shorter than me, Katie stop being so judgmental, were all whizzing through my head. I was so nervous, I kinda leaned down to hug him and thanked him for the date and then ran off to my car. And in that moment I knew. Even though I debated it with myself the entire rest of the weekend because I don't consider myself to be a superficial bitch. It was during the lean down I realized...I have a height complex that can not be solved no matter how open I try to keep my mind.
That leads us to this morning. I took the completely wimpy way out and sent him a text, but a text is better than nothing at all right? I could have played the games that so many girls do of being busy or not responding, etc. But since I had a previous connection to him, I just didn't have the guts for a live phone conversation!
I went for full honesty "Hey XXXX, I have to be honest with you because I don't want to waste your time. I can't get past the fact that you're shorter than I am. I realize it's really superficial to say that, but it's true, and I don't want to lead you on."
Which makes me a huge jerk (no pun intended), but I'm not out to hurt anyone, and the way I see it, it's better to rip off a bandaid with honesty and try to be as fair as possible to the people you interact with. I still can't believe I fell asleep though.....
I can't believe you put that picture up here! I love it. And don't be so hard on yourself. You are just willing to admit what so many people won't - there are some characteristics that are non-negotiable. End of story. You tried, it failed and now you get to move on knowing a little more about what you are looking for in a man.
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